Archive for the ‘ interaction ’ Category

Two In One Day?!

I’m going to pretend like I won’t be overwhelmed with guilt for being passive-aggressive (though I’m sure I will as it is a growing reality to me that I am sinking to a lower level by doing this). I’m also not sure if any of it makes sense due to my desperate attempts in clinging onto anonymity.

You know, loyalty means a lot to me. Honesty too.

To me, a real, true friend would defend you against their other friends, their boyfriend/girlfriend, family, etc. Such a thing wouldn’t create drama or conflict, honestly. It builds character, encourages self-confidence and is compliant with philosophy’s ideas of reciprocity. If someone you care about is talking shit about someone else you care about, a small task such as simply telling that person to not say disrespectful things within earshot of the ‘target’ would be nice. Yeah, the ‘target’. We’ll call the ‘victim’ the ‘target’.

Though it still bothers me endlessly to know that a friend could allow such gross discussion to take place at all. Even if you worry you might alienate the ‘insulter’, if you will, not standing up for the ‘target’ makes you look weak and leaves your relationship with the ‘target’ in question… Especially if the ‘target’ is aware of the situation.

[My friend Matt says this: Sometimes people just get what’s coming to them.]

It’s really, really sad, hurtful, disrespectful, angering, and quite literally makes me physically ill when things like this happen. The lack of consideration leaves nothing but questions in regards to what friendship is or if it really holds any value to the other half of the relation. I find this behavior to be disgustingly immature, unnecessary and vile. I’d rather have a thousand redheaded goatees rubbing on my body at the same time (if any of you know how much I hate redheads and goatees, you’ll understand) than allow such a thing to happen — but I guess such disgust is relative? Or does it just come with experience? Age? What is it, you know?

If I have a friend who finds another one distasteful in any regard, I, at the very MINIMUM, will request that they not talk about the ‘target’ in my presence… Let alone in the ‘target’s.

Even more so, if the ‘insulter’ should know better and continues with disregard…? I’m sorry, but that person is obviously of questionable character anyway.

[My friend Kat says: Never forget who keeps your secrets.]

It’s obvious I’m regarding to someone *very* *very* *VERY* close to *ME* as the ‘target’ (or at least one of the many ‘targets’). Being pro-active is more respectable and all, but releasing pent up frustration is insanely therapeutic. This entry can be passive-aggressive, aggressive, passive… It doesn’t matter. The ‘target’ is refusing to be a victim.

Which is why the ‘target’ keeping is keeping his/her space and will keep it until things improve/stop/are solved. It isn’t that he/she doesn’t want to approach this situation, defuse it, but we’re in agreement think this is only fair and with some high hopes, we hope a lesson is learned with little pain and no loss.

I will now curl up into my warm blanket, watch television, knit and dream of a calmer future.

Slampire Geekend


Yesterday, my friend Kateri asked me to accompany her to see Beach House and Vampire Weekend at the Saint Augustine Amphitheater. Her husband had to work and was sick for a few days, so skipping on work last night would’ve made him feel bad.

I like Vampire Weekend, but really, I like Kateri because she was one of my first friends when moving here. She’s been kind of an inspiration to me to grow up too. She got her BA in economics, got married, bought a house, and has been self-reliant for a few years now. She goes on international vacations a lot to interesting places like Africa and Vietnam. In a way, she has shown me that there is more to enjoy than just bars and such… Though that was she and I’s routine years ago.

I opened my windows today to let in a nice breeze while I work on my psychology paper on why personality disorders are generally considered untreatable. I can hear the golfers at the golf course my room is across from (there is a pond between the hole and my room so I luckily haven’t had any golf ball to the window incidents) arguing, cussing, cheering and what not depending on how their par is today.

It’s interesting. I wonder if they think about what I’m doing in here, typing so diligently — or if they even notice/can see me?

The way we sleep all summer


Those are my two favorite images from the photoshoot I did on Sunday evening. It was an interesting event, I do say… As I walked into the building (which had been remodeled since I was there last) to see a petite goth girl sitting naked in a chair. I closed the door and waited for Kat to stop investigating the empty school bus that was in the parking lot. Also, I was surprised by the boobies I had just seen. Kat came over, I warned her and we walked in. I apologized for not knocking or anything and she apologized for her nudity.

Since the remodel, the main door goes RIGHT into the dressing room which is a huge fucking awkward situation waiting to happen, er… Well, it happened for me at least. At least there is an accessible bathroom and shower now.

I painted up my shirt(s). One said HELL YES with an upside cross beneath it and another said Fuck You! with a bullet hole that one of my best friends in the universe, Kat, painted. The Kill Yourself one won out though.

I then experienced what airbrushed make-up feels like, which I’d NEVER had before. It made my skin look incredible but wasn’t very comfortable. I can’t imagine how celebrities feel having to wear that shit for hours and under hot lights. It is dry and even though it didn’t crack or peel, it felt like it should have been. I guess most people have had that done to them but I never have. All things considered, I am not an experienced model by any stretch.

I have decided on something to get this blog a-bustin’ though. I’m going to take on a 365 days project. That’s right! I’m going to blog something every day for a year starting Monday, September 20th (that’s my 25th birthday!). I’m going to post a picture of something I’ve done that day and post it with an entry that is at least 50 words long. I was going to start today but I’m not because this weekend is when I’m celebrating my birthday! That means I’ll be busy with partying since I’m about to cross the bridge from adolescence to adulthood. I think that means my partying will take a decline or at least should.

School starts on the 27th for me so I’ll be sure to post pictures of the ridiculous shit that I do on campus (such as stare at the brick walls that hold me in like a monarchist government).

I’m going to finish doing the deep cleaning I started on my room and read this book that a really amazing guy I’m seeing let me borrow. It’s called The Poisoner’s Handbook and it is about the beginnings of forensic toxicology during the Blues era. I’m not very far into it, but it is BRILLIANT so far. This guy seems to know what I like really well. He’s a chemistry major. I guess I have major chemistry with chemistry majors… Sorry, couldn’t resist that joke.

Here are the other shots from the set, and, yanno, click for bigger versions or whatever:


Check out my photographer at http://john-kester.com and thank you to Jeana Leand for my make-up.

Raygun!

I am now DJing Tuesdays at Ocean Club’s Liquor Store in Jax Beach, as well as Channel Thursdays at TSI.

I’m sleepy and would like to add another hour or two to my zzz’s but my mom keeps bugging me. When she’s done talking to me, I’m going to go nap. I love naps.

Shot a wedding yesterday, was introduced to a very nice guy who let me wear his hat all night, got to hang out with my SuziRok and even got to see my superfav William Dowling.

I wish I had more to say but I’m sleepy.

Dive for your memory

I’m pretty sure I haven’t been sober since Friday around noon, and that I have spent more time sober than I should have to find fault for indecision. You know, things like binging for 3 days and ending that binging cycle at Crunchay Sundays at TSI where you find yourself abruptly surrounded by ravers and beach-bros alike (Ocean Club is the other way, guys). And house music where every hit of the bass, you feel a palpitation.

And of course, some of the most amazing friends ever.

PS. Watching Vlad dance can fix any ailments ever. I don’t mean this sexually either.

PPS. Is my inebriation obvious?

The Individual.

Since I am continuously making horrible decisions in regards to how I should be living life, I’d like to say my romantic decisions are probably the worst.

Yesterday, a friend’s 4 year old son enacted a metaphorical act of my romantic life. He threw the lego building I fashioned together and told him it was my heart, threw it on the ground, apologized as he remodeled the pieces into something completely different… Insisting that he was nice ‘see, see!’ Only to repeat the process. It was an unapologetic realization that my dating life could be written into a comedic romance series of failures.

Either way, every other aspect of my life seems to be going swimmingly along. It hasn’t been difficult to realize that I go right back into not looking as quickly as a Mormon pops out a baby after marriage.

Or before, whatever.

prrrt, we says.

life is pretty all right lately. wish the college wouldn’t make it so hard to increase my loan amounts. i also wish my book spending limit pre-disbursement wasn’t only 400 dollars considering my books are adding up to nearly 500.

higher education is an expensive endeavor. it makes me want to be a locksmith. i locked my keys in the car the other day. took the guy all of 30 seconds to get them out and i proceeded to hand over 40 bucks. i know plenty of it goes back to the company he worked for, but i can’t imagine he’s not making a killing fixing people’s mistakes. it’s a common mistake too, from what i gather from my friends. or maybe we’re all unintelligent twits?

on the bright side, i really like my classes and professors so far. i’m thrilled at the prospect of having the classes i have this semester (cultural anthropology, biology lab, eng (writing about non-fic). i’ve already made a pseudo-quasi-friend in my english class. his name is michael, but he told the professor it was ian. then we made jokes about being ‘pro-abortion’. i love offensive folks.

i also have this to look forward to hosting:

i hope to see a lot of my friends there. that means you or it might not mean you. whatever.