Look, a picture!

I’m getting a new webcam, hopefully, for Christmas. Maybe I’ll start video blogging. It seems like an easier way for me to keep things recorded and archived in my life so I can review them.

I like doing that, by the way. I like reviewing past events. I read my old journals, look at my old sketchbooks, read old LJ entries, read old blogs, look at old pictures. I think it’s a great way to keep from hoarding objects. Someone give that idea to those hoarder OCD treatment specialists… Tell them to teach these fuckers to just take pictures and write shit. I’m brilliant sometimes.

I’m going to be baking/making today some stuff that I give out as Christmas gifts. I’m so domesticated. My friend Omar says that I am an IRG (indie rock gramma). I don’t think I’m that indie rock, but if loving BUST magazine, all music ever, knitting, baking, crocheting and cooking are any indicators, I guess I might be.

Netflix instant is amazing.

I got a 3.7-ish last semester. Are you proud? I am proud. My dad would say he’s “PER-OUD” because that is what Iranian accents do.

One of my essays on ethics from my philosophy class last semester: Assisted Suicide

St. Thomas Acquinas, philosopher and theologian, said that only God had the right to determine the duration of our existence here on earth in his defense of suicide being wrong and prohibited by the institutionalized Christian faith. But he never suffered from a debilitating illness that caused severe physical pain, mental anguish to everybody involved including himself, required constant assistance from others and, most terrifying, guaranteed his death, which might have changed his mind. What would you do if a terminally ill loved one’s dying wish was to die on his or her own terms, in a way that ensured it would be painless and quick before their sickness took it? Some places think the right to assisted suicide should be given to the patient who is facing terminal illness while some places have prosecuted those who have assisted.

St. Acquinas defended the prohibition of suicide in Christianity because, as he said, suicide violates the gift that God gave us of life. First of all, this from God who supposedly dictated that methods of testing for witchery included the accused being thrown in a body of water, and if they floated, they were a witch. This is the same religion who would burn people at the stake for being a witch (floating, really). That is irrational and unethical by many varied philosophies. Secondly, not everybody is a Christian. By using a Christian argument in laws, the regulation of separation between church and state is violated (as usual).

Assisted suicide, as per this paper, is considered a medical professional helping a terminally ill patient end their life. There are two main types of assisted suicide such as physician aid-in-dying (PAD) in which a doctor gives a competent terminally ill patient receives a prescription for a lethal dose of medication, terminal sedation is when a doctor puts a patient to sleep with medications and the patient either dies of underlying illness or starvation/dehydration, and voluntary euthanasia when death is by lethal injection by a doctor upon patient request. Prior to any type of assisted suicide, the patient must be considered mentally competent to make their own decisions by a medical/mental health professional and have a limited life-expectancy of about six months or less according to the Washington Death with Dignity Act (my basis for definitions). In this context, it means that physicians provide assistance to patients who are going to die and request help in controlling the timing and the circumstance of their death. The only states in the United States who feel that the terminally ill should have a choice over their death are Washington and Oregon. Around the world, there are many places with no laws against it like Sweden, Denmark, Germany, and Luxembourg but there is only a handful of places outside of Oregon and Washington who have legalized the practice: Switzerland, Belgium and the Netherlands.

Dr. Jack Kevorkian, from Michigan, was smeared across the news for his assistance in a patient’s suicide. The dramatic and eccentric doctor was even nicknamed Dr. Death. One of his “victims” was Thomas Youk, who suffered from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis which is a neurological disorder that is not only terminal, but causes the loss of voluntary movement prior to death. In court, a jury found Kevorkian guilty of 2nd degree homicide and distribution of a controlled substance (he had lost his medical license 8 years prior) and he was thrown in prison.

Friedriech Nietzsche and the existentialists of the world consider suicide unacceptable. In believing that life is absurd, they believe suicide fails to actually be absurd (as everything is). This is because the person choosing suicide is misinterpreting himself as not absurd and is trying to escape the absurd world he was unwillingly put into. Albert Camus argues that suicide is wrong with his quote “The important thing is not to be cured… But to live with one’s ailments.” He even considers philosophical denials to be a suicide because like suicide, it uses fictions, illusions, lies and manipulation to hide the fact that life is absurd. Of course, this means that religion itself could be suicide if we use those terms.

Aristotle fretted that suicide violates a person’s duty to reciprocity. However, I can take his argument and alter it to be an argument FOR assisted suicide. Bearing in mind the guidelines of the Right to Dignity Act, if one finds their ability to contribute back to society about to end against his or her will, is simply choosing an alternate to their inevitable end a substantial violation of our duty? If an assisted suicide occurs just before or after someone ends up in a vegetative or highly physically limited state, are they even able to fulfill their duty outside of philosophically debatable psychological comfort to others?

A libertarian might see it as morally acceptable. Having the right would be enjoyable even if it doesn’t really follow rational and the right of noninterference means that others are ‘morally barred’ from interfering with suicidal behavior argue for the case. Even stronger cases are found in our liberty right that says individuals have no obligation to or not to commit suicide and in our claim right, which signifies that others are actually morally obligated to support or assist someone’s choice of suicide. Also, attempts by the state or medical profession to halt or prohibit suicide are attempts to control or alter our ideas of individual freedom.

Utilitarianism has an idea on approaching a moral dilemma with Bentham’s principle of utility. We should look at the consequences of assisted suicide. The pros and cons offhand would be psychological anguish due to loss for those who care for the patient, possibly be less suffering for the patient, medical bills would cease stacking up from hospice and treatment and the patient would get to die by his own choice (a Pyrrhic victory in a way). The pros and cons of patiently waiting for illness to take its toll: longer, psychological anguish when patient dies, medical bills stacking up. Now, I ask you from an objective, rational stance whether the determined death (suicide) or uncontrolled (death by illness) is better?

The major philosophical question for me is that at the center of this subject is it is my belief that we own our bodies; our “tombs”, as Plato would have said, are our property and we solely have a right to do as we please with them. Simply being able to have the right of choosing our death in an occurrence where we are terminally ill gives us a reassurance of that personal freedom we have over ourselves. The suffering, whether mental or physical, we might experience, the burden and stress an illness might put on our loved ones, and the hopeless feeling of having to surrender the life you made to an illness you likely despise sounds like an awful way to end an existence. It is simply morally wrong, selfish and nonsensical to impose a further lack of choice for ourselves and the ones we love. My preference? I’d want to end it in my own terms with a professional who could make it painless after saying goodbyes as sufficiently as possible in an event like this.

Two In One Day?!

I’m going to pretend like I won’t be overwhelmed with guilt for being passive-aggressive (though I’m sure I will as it is a growing reality to me that I am sinking to a lower level by doing this). I’m also not sure if any of it makes sense due to my desperate attempts in clinging onto anonymity.

You know, loyalty means a lot to me. Honesty too.

To me, a real, true friend would defend you against their other friends, their boyfriend/girlfriend, family, etc. Such a thing wouldn’t create drama or conflict, honestly. It builds character, encourages self-confidence and is compliant with philosophy’s ideas of reciprocity. If someone you care about is talking shit about someone else you care about, a small task such as simply telling that person to not say disrespectful things within earshot of the ‘target’ would be nice. Yeah, the ‘target’. We’ll call the ‘victim’ the ‘target’.

Though it still bothers me endlessly to know that a friend could allow such gross discussion to take place at all. Even if you worry you might alienate the ‘insulter’, if you will, not standing up for the ‘target’ makes you look weak and leaves your relationship with the ‘target’ in question… Especially if the ‘target’ is aware of the situation.

[My friend Matt says this: Sometimes people just get what’s coming to them.]

It’s really, really sad, hurtful, disrespectful, angering, and quite literally makes me physically ill when things like this happen. The lack of consideration leaves nothing but questions in regards to what friendship is or if it really holds any value to the other half of the relation. I find this behavior to be disgustingly immature, unnecessary and vile. I’d rather have a thousand redheaded goatees rubbing on my body at the same time (if any of you know how much I hate redheads and goatees, you’ll understand) than allow such a thing to happen — but I guess such disgust is relative? Or does it just come with experience? Age? What is it, you know?

If I have a friend who finds another one distasteful in any regard, I, at the very MINIMUM, will request that they not talk about the ‘target’ in my presence… Let alone in the ‘target’s.

Even more so, if the ‘insulter’ should know better and continues with disregard…? I’m sorry, but that person is obviously of questionable character anyway.

[My friend Kat says: Never forget who keeps your secrets.]

It’s obvious I’m regarding to someone *very* *very* *VERY* close to *ME* as the ‘target’ (or at least one of the many ‘targets’). Being pro-active is more respectable and all, but releasing pent up frustration is insanely therapeutic. This entry can be passive-aggressive, aggressive, passive… It doesn’t matter. The ‘target’ is refusing to be a victim.

Which is why the ‘target’ keeping is keeping his/her space and will keep it until things improve/stop/are solved. It isn’t that he/she doesn’t want to approach this situation, defuse it, but we’re in agreement think this is only fair and with some high hopes, we hope a lesson is learned with little pain and no loss.

I will now curl up into my warm blanket, watch television, knit and dream of a calmer future.

Then I say something stupid like “I want another whiskey-ginger.”

My friends think my life is like a movie.

I don’t think I agree, but I guess there could be a climax/ending coming eventually.

Anyway, I’m working on getting some of my ethics papers published. I might post some of the lesser orchestrated ones on here soon. My semester is almost over which should give me some time to re-examine how I’m allotting my time which means I might be better at blogging.

Or not?

Wama lama ding dong.

your asshole is political | 11.17.10

1. Pansy Division – Political Asshole (1:14)
2. White Rose Movement – Cigarette Machine (3:17)
3. DeVotchKa – Somethin’ Stupid (3:23)
4. Thao Nguyen – Moped (1:57)
5. The Mooney Suzuki – A Little Bit of Love (2:30)
6. i hate you when you’re pregnant – fame (2:51)
7. The Dandy Warhols – Every Day Should Be A Holiday (3:56)
8. Lady & Bird – Sailor and Widow (3:54)
9. Josh Ritter – Change Of Time (4:07)
10. Pavement – Fame Throwa (3:22)
11. Xiu Xiu – Clowne Towne (3:50)
12. Les Savy Fav – Patty Lee (3:51)
13. Spencey Dude & The Doodles – Spencey Dude & The Doodles – Flirting (1:43)
14. The Rivingtons – Papa Oom Mow Mow (2:24)
15. Deer Tick – Little White Lies (3:39)
16. Pepper Rabbit – Older Brother (3:20)
17. Sacred Animals – Wired- Islands (4:15)
18. PS I Love You – Starfield (2:06)
19. Bad Veins – You Kill (3:55)
20. … Who Calls So Loud – Any Color I Want (4:25)
21. warm hands – Bulldoze The Border (0:58)
22. RICE – Breathe (2:06)
23. Opiate Eyes – The Glimmers II (3:10)
24. Cowboys Became Folk Heroes – A Conversation With Myself (3:29)
25. Tough Junkie – Blowing Letters (2:53)
26. NickFRESH – Ephemeral Mcs (Neon Indian vs. Run DMC) (2010 Mashup**) (2:37)
27. Electric President – Eat Shit And Die (3:14)


“I Am No Good”/11.10.2010 Mix.

1. Deltron 3030 – Mastermind (3:34)
2. Mommy And Daddy – Confection (2:41)
3. Coconut Records – West Coast (feat. Benjamin Einziger, Branda Colonna, Brother Jack) (3:32)
4. Young Jesus – Up All Night With Stereotypes (3:48)
5. Free Kitten – Free Kitten – 03 Never Gonna Sleep (6:18)
6. The Unicorns – Jellycones (2:43)
7. Tsunami Bomb – Lemonade (2:25)
8. T-Rex – Jeepster (4:10)
9. Free Energy – Bang Pop (3:40)
10. Hefner – The Sweetness Lies Within (4:15)
11. Antlers – White Fur (2:43)
12. I Heart Hiroshima – Crook’d (3:33)
13. Kate Nash – Pumpkin Soup (2:59)
14. The Monks – Boys Are Boys And Girls Are Choice (1:26)
15. The Mummies – Sooprize Package For Mr. Mineo (1:50)
16. Aceyalone – Bounce (3:39)
17. Starflyer 59 – You’re Mean (2:04)
18. The Knife – The Height of Summer (3:46)
19. Fugazi – Bulldog Front (2:53)
20. Lexicon – Junk Food (4:02)
21. The Jim Yoshii Pile-Up – Breakdown Championship (4:51)
22. Fyfe Dangerfield – When You Walk In The Room (3:28)
23. Jukebox The Ghost – Empire (3:37)


Wu-Tang Clan Ain’t Nothing to Fuck With

Last night, I saw Inspektah Deck and Masta Killa of the Wu Tang Clan. I was excited because, well, I like the Wu Tang Clan. I think that Inspektah Deck has one of the best rhymes to ever exist in Killer Bees:

I bomb atomically, Socrates’ philosophies and hypothesis can’t define how I be droppin’ these mockeries, lyrically perform armed robbery.

I paid 20 dollars to see them (More than 10 bucks for festivals? Yes. Shows? No.) and I even stood in the front for the majority of the set and danced as best as my tiny booty would let me to rap music… I sang along and I was thrilled about Inspektah Deck. But, yeah, things didn’t stay awesome.

I know MCs and rappers will rib their DJs sometimes but last night was ridiculous. I’ve been to hip hop shows. I’m not some tender baby who is overreacting. See, Ian/DJ Triclops isn’t their DJ. He’s a local bar and venue owner, DJ, producer, business owner, and local icon for creative movements and everybody in Jax respects him. Their DJ, or at least the one listed on the flyer that they sent to be handed out, didn’t even fucking show up.

So what do these two professional, experienced and FAMOUS rappers do?

They give Ian a burned CD (didn’t even have BACKTRACKING on it) and would tell him when to switch the fucking song on stage. The fucking CD was scratched up and their tour guy even took the CD at one point and had to blow on it and was trying to get SHIT OFF OF THE CD.

But instead of apologizing for their irresponsibility, Masta Killa begins slamming Ian. Ian, who booked them when nobody south of Washington DC would book them. Ian, who paid most of their expenses out of his own pocket. Ian, who was doing the best he could to work with their shitty ass music set up…. Is told by Masta Killa in front of an audience who supports, loves and respect Ian, that he is going to get slapped for not DJing well enough.


My friend Kyle (who is in Ian’s DJ group Big Buck$ Crew) is a big black man and he puffed up from the back entrance of the stage and I saw everybody tell him to calm down. I honestly almost thought I would say something or do something (I joked with Kyle and Ian after that I was going to pretend to be a crazy, cracked out white girl until they realized I was Iranian and arrested me for terrorism). Ian isn’t someone I’m particularly close to, but the attitude of Masta Killa was completely unbelievable. Inspektah Deck gave Ian a little ribbing but nothing major. As soon as Killa was on stage, Deck seemed to quiet himself and grow passive to Killa.

Not saying that with a nickname like Masta Killa you’re probably sane, yanno.

Soon, it was obvious that the others who tour with WTC (some guy who went by Lyrics, I think, and was driving their bus and had a few short minutes prior to Wu’s set where he’d spit) and the guy who spit with Deck while Killa wasn’t around (and he wasn’t for the first 2 songs and the last 2 songs, iirc) were apologizing to Ian during the set. Kyle was off the stage and AWOL. Ian was trying really hard to keep his cool, and I found myself sinking further back from the stage and eventually just spent the last portion in the venue’s dj booth (my old stomping grounds as I used to and on occasion still spin there).

Afterward, I saw my friend Trinity head upstairs to the WTC guys were hanging out after the show. She had her one hitter with good quality chronic and wanted to smoke them out (who wouldn’t?). She came down the stairs looking livid, shouting something about “the Wu Tang assholes can’t even handle me.” Later, she explained to me that they took a look at her one hitter, said it looked like a “crack pipe” and laughed in her face saying they only smoked blunts and didn’t trust her ass.

I guess I thought that after the years of being the Wu Tang, knowing how much of an influence your music is, swearing that you are repping real hip-hop, saying on stage repeatedly that you don’t care if you’re playing to 10 or 10,000 people could be such shitty people. I mean, they were talking about ODB, giving the stand-in DJ (who fucking paid you and you treated like shit) a dirty, scratched up burned fucking cd and in the long run? They ended up being unappreciative asshole shithead bums (MK in Timbalands and a Gilligan hat, no less) who insulted the man who paid them, the crowd that paid more money than they should have, insulted someone who wanted to smoke them out with better chronic than the shit regs they were smoking.

If I could say anything to them… Well,

Masta Killa: You can be tough as nails, have a great flow, be a Wu Tang family member but you don’t have to be a dick to the people who support you and have supported you. I hope you know that 99% of WTC’s songs would have been just as good and just as successful without you. You’re a dick and a has-been who is trying to rep Wu-Tang as hard as you can while people like Method Man and Ghostface don’t need to cling onto the family as hard as you do. Probably because they aren’t such insufferable cocks. Also, for being such an experience thuggish ruggish G, you automatically assuming a one hitter is a crack pipe even after it’s been shown to hold fine nugs is ridiculous. I wish you had stayed home and taken care of your grill and let a cardboard cut out of ODB with a tape recorder glued behind its head play rather than your shit ass.

Inspektah Deck: On stage, you were passionate, you interacted with the audience, you ribbed the DJ just an acceptable and expected amount. You are incredible at your art and I would love to see you with Ghostface or Method or Raekwon the Chef or any of the other living members of the family.

I’m terribly sorry this is so long but I am whole-heartedly disappointed in Masta Killa and the Wu right now. It feels like part of my hip-hop heart has cracked.

Weekly Mix!

Hey, look, a weekly mix as I indicated I’d share.

Look! Loooook:

A hoo-hoo-hoo! I have nothing else to say here except do enjoy this shit.